The Discipline of Making Room

Recently, I attended a large dinner party where the hostess honored her guests with an extravagant meal and exquisite attention to detail. It was a feast for both my body and soul, as sharing food, stories, and laughter with others is always a personal delight; but that wasn’t even the best part. The most memorable part was after dinner, after most of the guests were gone, after the plates and glasses were stacked in the kitchen to be washed, when it was just a smaller group of us who sensed that, counter-intuitively, staying would be helpful. Our hostess was able to relax and enjoy the presence of friends without the pressure of entertaining. And there it was: the distinction between entertainment and hospitality.

That our society has a designated “hospitality industry” shows how the moral dimension of loving others and helping strangers has shifted over time from individual honor to a consumer-centric guest accommodation system. When people now say, “Hospitality is not my gift” (as if that is a non-participation pass), they misunderstand that hospitality is an expectation of all who claim to follow Jesus Christ and should be a defining feature of their lives.

Scripture portrays hospitality not as merely entertaining others or covering a need, but as making room in our schedule for people around us to feel noticed, helped, and valued. Hospitality is about developing personal relationships. In addition to numerous Old Testament examples, notable scriptures include Hebrews 13:2, which encourages us to show consistent hospitality to strangers; Romans 12:13, which urges believers to contribute to the needs of others and practice hospitality; and 1 Peter 4:8-9, which instructs the Church to initiate hospitality without grumbling about it. Our aim in doing these practices is to reflect God into this world as a witness of His love, remembering that we, too, are undeserving recipients of God’s hospitality.

From the garden to the cross to our future heavenly banquet, God has always made room for us before we knew to ask. As our perfect model, Jesus embodied hospitality through His incarnation, inviting humanity into a personal relationship with God. He noticed and welcomed the ones who were overlooked: children, sinners, outcasts, doubters, poor, and undignified people who could not repay His kindness. He showed up, shared a meal, told the truth, and loved them well. His hospitality looked different even to that culture.

Jesus demonstrated that hospitality necessarily transcends social boundaries and personal biases. His call to care for the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, and the imprisoned (Matt. 25:35-36) is to pay attention to those who are marginalized and in need. He reiterates that in serving others, we serve God. To follow Jesus’ example means we notice other people and serve them without expectation, rooted in grace, as a vessel of God’s love.

Engaging hospitality as a spiritual practice begins with a self-examination of attitudes and behaviors, getting better at listening, being transformed by humility, scheduling open-for-others time, and becoming more comfortable around people who are not like you. How do we get better at living out our faith? We get better at hospitality.

Now, I am well aware that you are busy and life is hectic, that your calendar is full already, and you don’t really need any new friends, so this call to hospitality will just need to wait or fall on someone else. (Or something like that.) Friend, you are not called to entertain; you are called to serve God and love your neighbor by making room wherever His grace can be experienced and shared.

We are surrounded by people who need a safe, genuine relationship because they are trying to survive in competitive, hostile, and unsafe environments. We, the Church, can offer them a place of safety and healing. We can incarnate the welcoming heart of God for our community here at Christ Church. The beauty of the gospel message is embodied in the practices of hospitality, that as the love of God is carried within you, so is the invitation to strangers, neighbors, guests, and friends: you are welcome here.

Simple Ways to Practice Hospitality

• Listen to people without being in a hurry to respond.
• Invite someone to share lunch after church or during the week.
• Invite a few friends to gather for a Bible Study or prayer group in your home.
• Double your dinner recipe and take half of it to a neighbor or friend.
• Demonstrate humility and don’t talk about yourself. Ask questions.
• See a new face at church? Introduce yourself and ask to sit with them.
• Host a simple game night with snacks.
• Give a genuine compliment to a coworker or a stranger.
• Share extra fruit or vegetables from your garden.